Newspeak 1.0

We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

The US defence department has set up a new unit to better promote its message across 24-hour rolling news outlets, and particularly on the internet.

The Pentagon said the move would boost its ability to counter "inaccurate" news stories and exploit new media.
...
The Bush administration does not believe the true picture of events in Iraq has been made public, the BBC's Justin Webb in Washington says.

The administration is particularly concerned that insurgents in areas such as Iraq have been able to use the web to disseminate their message and give the impression they are more powerful than the US, our correspondent says.

Link

Best quote in a while:

Saw this in a forum I visit:

"It's a good thing the founding fathers created the electoral college to regulate the passions of the masses. Otherwise we might really wind up with some dipshits running the government."

And yeah, that's sarcasm. Wave your flag somewhere else.

So much for alt-fuels

Now, where's the article about the surge in SUV sales? We actually need to keep gas at $3.00/gal. to beat it into peoples' heads that we need more fuel-efficient vehicles on the road.

WASHINGTON - Americans are celebrating plunging gasoline prices by hitting the roads.

After barely rising during the summer months, gasoline demand rose swiftly in September, the American Petroleum Institute said Wednesday.
...
The U.S. average for a gallon of regular Wednesday was $2.219, down 27 percent from this year's peak of $3.04 a gallon on Aug. 10 and off 52 cents from a year ago. The lowest average price Wednesday was in Missouri, where it was $2.02 a gallon; the highest was in Hawaii, where the average was $2.98.

Link

Geographic meltdown

Having lived in New Mexico, this comes as no surprise. There's a reason that the license plates there say "New Mexico USA."

JUNEAU, Alaska - Alaska's governor wanted to find out what the rest of the nation thinks about their neighbor to the north, so he commissioned a sort of pop quiz.

The results of the poll show that Americans love Alaska, but they don't know a whole lot about it.

More than half the nation thinks that most of Alaska is covered in ice and snow year-round. For the record: Just 5 percent of Alaska is covered by glaciers, ice and snow all year.

Another result found that one of every eight Americans believes the Last Frontier is a separate country or else doesn't know that it's a state.

Link

Black helicopter alert

Yep, you better just get used to it!

U.S. Department of Homeland Security opened its third air surveillance base focused on the Canadian border on Monday, eroding claims the shared border is the longest undefended one in the world.
...
Juan Munoz Torres of Homeland Security said the higher security is a new reality both countries must get used to.

Link

Cry Baby M/C

Words fail me. But did the ruling actually change anyone's opinion, or did he just start noticing it?

The president of the Vancouver chapter of the Hells Angels says people have been rude to him and his feelings have been hurt since the group was ruled a criminal organization by an Ontario judge last year.

In an affidavit filed in B.C. Supreme Court, Rick Ciarnello lists a number of public snubs including a couple in a restaurant who asked to be moved because they didn't want to sit next to him after he walked in wearing Hells Angels colours.

Link

Fluidity of law

Nothing like changing the law when the courts disagree with you. It's good that we now have "standards" that "protect" the imprisoned. Of course, by "standards" I mean firing squads, and by "protect" I mean execute.

President George W Bush has signed into law a bill that sets standards for the interrogation and prosecution of foreign terror suspects held by the US.

The law aims to enshrine defendants' human rights, but still restricts their right to challenge their detention.

It follows a Supreme Court ruling in June that military tribunals set up to prosecute detainees at Guantanamo Bay violated US and international law.

Link

Who watches the watchers?

This isn't so much that a fox got into the farmer's henhouse, but the fox doing a hostile takeover of the henhouse. Nice way to steal 40% of your employee's tips, Steve!

The dealers over at Wynn Las Vegas who are none too happy about supervisors taking a share of their tips also are ticked that they can't count their own tip money.

At most casinos, dealers appointed by a toke committee count the tips each day. That money is reported to the payroll department, which splits the money among dealers. When Wynn started giving floor supervisors, reclassified as "team leaders," a 40 percent share of the daily tips, he removed the counting duties from dealers and gave it to casino employees who typically count the house's money. Casino security, rather than the dealers themselves, collect the tips and take them to a count room.

Link

Public service worker arrested

I really do think he was doing public service, these people needed scamming. It's a shame that he played for such small stakes. Some of the "victims" look like they could've been taken for thousands. Oh, and by "victims" I mean retarded dipshits with more money than brains.

For a few hundred dollars apiece, Robert Bouconi made people feel like they were in the presence of a rock star.

Police say Bouconi targeted victims in bars, posing as a guitarist for REO Speedwagon, a brother to Lynyrd Skynyrd's band members or the son of a prominent Mafioso, wowing them with his aura of celebrity.
...
From Scottsdale to Pinal County, police say Bouconi conned several people by claiming to buy them luxury cars and mansions in exchange for $250 to $300 to get the transactions started, before ditching the paperwork he never signs. He is wanted in similar cons in California and New Mexico.

Link

The wall helps who?

It's a good thing that our new wall will protect our lettuce from those dirty illegals. Congress better hurry up and pubish a five-year plan, so we can be assured that our crops will be rotting the fields.

BAKERSFIELD -- Farmers across the country are facing a growing shortage of people in their fields.

Agriculture is a $31 billion dollar a year industry in California with Kern County making up 11% of that amount.

Historically there have always been enough farm laborers to bring in the crops, but for the first time ever California farmer's and labor contractors are facing a growing labor shortage.

Link

Loose lips sink ships

Or careers. If you know it's wrong, and do it anyway, for fuck's sake, don't brag about it. The walls have ears.

But, then we know how reliable a government "inquiry" can be.

The US Pentagon has ordered an inquiry into alleged abuses at Guantanamo Bay after reports that camp guards boasted of beating and mistreating detainees.

A marine sergeant who visited the camp has said she understood "striking detainees was a common practice".

The sergeant's sworn statement said she had overheard a guard describe slamming a detainee's head into a cell door.

Link

La-la-la! I can't hear you!

Ah, the sweet sound of the water lapping up on the banks of denial. I wonder when the U.S. will pass a law that makes it treason to call this "genocide?" After all, we can't be like France.

NEW YORK - President Bush says he doesn't believe it. Some experts have a problem with it. But several others say it seems sound.

Such was the varied reception for a new study that estimated the Iraq war has led to the deaths of nearly 655,000 Iraqis as of July.

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and the Al Mustansiriya University in Baghdad derived that estimate from a door-to-door survey, conducted by doctors, of 1,849 households in Iraq. Taking the number of deaths reported by household residents, they extrapolated to a nationwide figure. Researchers acknowledged a margin of error that ranged from 426,369 to 793,663 deaths.

Link

Pwned

Talk about putting one in the ten-ring!

A woman fears she could lose sight in one of her eyes after being struck by an egg thrown from a passing car in Aberdeen.

Pamela Blair, 61, was leaving His Majesty's Theatre (HMT) when the egg was thrown by youths in a car.

Link

Please, think of the DNA

Fluffy MkII won't be home for Christmas, it seems.

Genetic Savings & Clone, a biotechnology company that sells cloned pets, has sent letters to its customers saying it will close at the end of the year. The company had recently reduced the price from $50,000 to $32,000.

The letters said the Sausalito, Calif., company was not accepting new orders because it was "unable to develop the technology to the point that cloning pets is commercially viable."

The company was launched by University of Phoenix founder John Sperling, who had hoped to have his hunting dog, Missy, cloned - a feat that was never accomplished.

Since the company opened in 2000, it was behind the creation of five cloned cats, but sold only two to paying customers.

Link

Legislating history

I guess someone didn't talk to the diplomats first. Maybe they should've talked to the Pope first. Sometimes dead empires aren't so dead after all.

PARIS (AFP) - France has sought to calm an uproar in Turkey and in the European Union after the French parliament approved a bill that would make it a crime to deny that the 1915-17 massacres of Armenians by the Ottoman Turks constituted genocide.

The French foreign ministry insisted that Paris was still "very keen" on dialogue with Turkey and wanted its "strong ties" with that country to continue.

But a furious Ankara -- which strongly contests the use of the term genocide -- was in no mood to listen, saying that France had dealt "a heavy blow" to longstanding bilateral relations.

Link